Tigers Introduced Into Sheen Family Gene Pool

Story Of The Week


Mr Sheen when he's not flying round on a dusting cloth

Between shovelling handfuls - okay - truckloads of pancakes into my face and listening to Adele’s new album whilst weeping like a little girly girl over the past few weeks, I couldn’t help but notice that Mr Carlos Irwin Estevez – more famously known as Charlie Sheen – has finally hit breaking-point.

I know what you’re thinking: thank the sweet baby J that there’s not going to be another series of Two and a Half Men. But, in all seriousness, Sheen is clearly experiencing a traumatic period of his life. I can’t quite decide whether it’s tragic or just downright hilariously outlandish. On one hand, the guy’s champagne lifestyle is clearly catching up with him, but on the other, he claims to have "tiger blood", which is hard not to love.

As hyperbolic a statement as it may be to say that the makeup of your blood defies biology, it’s nothing compared to some of the other farfetched rants the 45 year-old actor has reeled off in a timeframe spanning the last 11 days. In fact, if Sheen said he was a transformer tomorrow, I would quite easily believe him, and even refer to him as Optimus Prime if he told me to.

Charlie Sheen’s recent public escapades haven’t been left wanting in terms of humour or in terms of recognition for the sheer audacity of it all. However, the fact of the matter is that he’s just revealed himself to be the pretentious asshole he’s always been suspected to be behind the scenes. I’d still sign a petition approving a one man series based on Charlie Sheen instead of another series on Sheen, that camp guy and the fat kid, but that’s not the point.

The Weird & the Wonderful
Judge Dread
When it comes to judges, there are many descriptions that spring to mind all befitting of their nature; refined, clinical, even fair (occasionally…), however, ‘hard as nails’ can now be added to that list.

Judge Douglas Marks Moore is not only in possession of the World’s most middle class name, but also of a rugby tackle that can knock a paedophile clean onto his backside. Mr Marks Moore demonstrated so on sex offender Paul Reid, who had been trying to escape court, in a repeat of an event that yielded greater success just two years earlier.

In my, humble and totally reasonable, opinion, the judge should be knighted and the only way he could possibly go up any further in my estimations would be if he had uttered the line, ‘hold my wig’ to a member of the jury before cleaning out the sex pest.

Here’s the link to that story - http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/233457/Judge-rugby-tackles-fleeing-sex-offender

Haha, bears in human clothes

Leave Henry Alone!

A dwarf entertainer known as Demon Dan has been banned from performing at an Oxford University college ball, because the college dean does not believe an act where Dan pulls a vacuum cleaner with only his penis to be of the highest taste.

The pint-sized performer has been part of the Circus of Horrors show for the past 15 years, but the crux to this man’s productive career was found 12 years prior, as an Ewok in Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi. Yes, that’s right, a man who once played a cute, if slightly annoying, miniature bear is now pulling along Henry the Hoover with his gigglestick, for a living. Oh, how the mighty have fallen, Demon Dan.

Here’s the link to that final story - http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/857426-dwarf-pulling-vacuum-cleaner-with-his-penis-banned-by-oxford-university

Join the facebook page for more information on the blog.